Insert deep, profound, thought-provoking, esoteric & philosophical BS here

Subject:	Finale
Time:	2:03 am.
Music:	羅志祥 - 轉角愛.

What is the purpose of a door? This fairly simple contraption can serve as a passageway between two different areas. A closed door acts as a barrier to prevent those without access from entering. An open door naturally serves as an invitation to enter. Doors come in all different sizes and shapes, each design serving a specific predetermined purpose.

A window shares a similar function, with the exception that most windows are transparent, allowing any passerby to view what is inside the room but restricts physical access. Even an open window implies that one is not supposed to enter the room through it. The difference between a door and a window is that a door allows someone the experience of entering a room while a window only allows a restricted view from the outside.

This blog is neither a window nor a door. It's more comparable to a hybrid of these two in terms of its function. A friend once said that this blog is an accurate representation of who I am. Hypothetically, a stranger who has never met me in person will get a relatively clear picture of what I am like.

For many years I've kept this journal to serve as a progression of who I have evolved into. It's an inevitable fact that this tracking project will terminate itself at some point. In more ways than one, I've witnessed enough evidence to suggest that I've reached the critical junction where the only thing left to do is to close the door and roll down the blinds.

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Subject:	closing a chapter to my life
Time:	1:17 am.
Music:	Thievery Corporation - Richest Man in Babylon (G-Corp. Remix).

Now that I am officially done with my program at UCLA, I am able to get a sense of closure to my life in academia. There are two things that strike me immediately when I glance back at how it all unfolded. The first is how thankful I am to have had God's guidance throughout the entire journey (or for those who don't believe, you may call it incredible and improbable luck).

Initially, you had a kid in high school who didn't understand what college was until the application process began. This same kid only knew that he was enamored with environmental science and failed to understand the implications of how different environmental engineering was from his "desired" field of study.

Next, the kid manages to land into Berkeley's school of Civil & Environmental Engineering, one of the better (some may argue that it's the best) institutions for this major. The only reason he is even in it is because he couldn't find that box labeled "environmental science" and found the next closest thing: "environmental engineering."

Math wasn't exactly his forte and he had never taken any form of physics until college. His grades were terrible during his first 3 semesters and he suffered through lapses of regret as he pondered on whether or not he should switch his major before his gpa plummets into oblivion.

This brings it to the second important point. I distinctly remember one of my older cousins telling me to stick with the program, even though he knew what I had to go through. I never consciously acted upon his advice but it was always in the back of my mind. I was saved by the arrival of upper division curriculum. Contrary to the popular notion that poor performance in lower division classes translates to even more terrible difficulties in upper division classes, I did exactly the opposite.

Things didn't exactly become rosy afterwards but it was a huge change for the better, relative to my previous situation. In fact, my admission into graduate school was saved by the fact that they only considered my grades in my upper division classes, and having studied at Berkeley certainly didn't hurt my case.

I think the best way to describe my journey is "haphazard" or "dangerously uncertain". In some ways, I am entering the next phase of my life in the same way. The only difference is that this time I have less of a fear of the unknown and more confidence in His ability to guide me through all of my tough and uncertain times.

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Subject:	work work
Time:	10:06 am.
Music:	Bjork - Innocence.

The past month has been busy and hectic as I've been trying to juggle school work/projects along with job interviews. I just recently found out that my master's comprehensive exam is scheduled on the Monday AFTER my graduation ceremony. On the upside, I'll have more time to study for it since my whole degree essentially hinges on that one exam. The downside is that I can't do any real celebrating on the day of graduation since nothing will be finalized until Monday. As for deciding on a place to work in the future, it has been the toughest decision I've ever encountered. I basically have 4 choices.

#1
My first offer was given by the County. In the short term, this would be the best place for me to go to if I were considering things from a financial perspective. They work 10 hour days and get Fridays off. The office is in Alhambra, which is ridiculously close to where I live. I would probably be settling into what my classmate calls a "cush government job." However, this directly translates into the downside of working there. When I visited the divisions there, I realized that I was the only engineer other than the senior engineer who will have a master's degree. This leads to the question of whether I will have the proper type of mentorship an engineer in my field needs, especially coming fresh out of school. Then again, the type of work they do at the county doesn't appear to warrant any specialized type of skills, which leads me to believe that I will be wasting what I've learned if I go there.

#2
The offer that I've been seriously considering is the one in Diamond Bar. It's only about a 20-25 min. drive there from home and they're a fairly large company compared to some of the others. The advantage of their size is that they have a wider range of projects so the work I'll be doing will be a lot less monotonous. They seem to foster a "small company" feel at the office while still being able to utilize the massive resources a large company possesses. If they offer me a competitive salary, I'll probably end up there.

#3
Apparently my advisor wasn't lying when he said there was a shortage of engineers in my field. This company actually found my resume lying around somewhere on the Civil Engineering career fair CD and actually called me in for an interview. I like this company the most because their senior engineer recently went back and got his Ph.D at UCLA, which basically means that he'll know exactly how to utilize my skills in actual practice. The company is medium sized and, according to various sources, are utterly "desperate" for engineers due to an ever increasing workload. The biggest turn off is the fact that they're in Irvine. Working there means I will have to move there. I can't imagine the hell commute I'd have to experience if I lived at home. If you think about it, any sort of salary they offer me probably can't offset the living costs I'd have to endure in Irvine.

#4
This one was also in Irvine. They're a large company that conducts operations across the globe. The main reason I was even considering them was to see if I can work out of Taiwan. Unfortunately, they only have an office out in Hong Kong and I am not as excited about working there. To make a long story short, they would expect me to travel extensively to various regions around the world. The caveat is that they do primarily mining operations overseas, which means I'll be working out in the middle of nowhere. It would be a foreign country but it'll still be in the middle of nowhere i.e. Gobi Desert in Mongolia.

I am leaning towards #2 because it seems like a good compromise between several important facets that I am considering: professional development, salary, and location/commute time. We'll see how it goes.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	i feel like my hand is glued to the fast-forward button
Time:	1:56 am.
Music:	Connie Francis - Siboney.

When I was in grade school I was fond of a type of children's fiction that places the reader into the actual plot of the book. As the story progresses, the reader is prompted with decisions that change the course of the plot. When the reader comes to a decision, he would turn to the appropriate page and the story continues until you reach one of many possible endings.

For some odd reason I will always remember the subject of one particular book. In the story, the main character (yourself) comes into possession of a tiny chip that is capable of accelerating the speed and reflexes of its wearer to supernatural levels. I don't remember the other details but I do remember the route I chose in the story and its outcome. Basically I took the path of shamelessly exploiting the chip to further advance my own dreams and goals. Specifically, the main character ends up becoming the top athlete in a wide variety of sports such as track, swimming, and baseball.

All is wonderful and lovely until you reach the ending. As the main character is strolling alongside his olympic-size swimming pool in the back of his multi-million dollar mansion, he catches a glimpse of his own reflection in the water and noticed something perturbing. He rushes into his bathroom to get a better look at himself and begins to see undeniable signs of aging that he was too busy to even notice before. Apparently, he has gotten so accustomed to wearing that chip that it came with the side-effect of accelerating his own biological clock. As the story comes to a rather depressing end, the character is left reflecting on all the time he lost and the things he wished he could've done instead.

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Subject:	complete and utter awkwardness
Time:	12:38 am.
Music:	MISIA - 愛しい人.

Today I randomly met an old classmate from high school while walking back to my apartment from campus. It was perhaps the most awkward conversation I've had with anyone in a long time. I usually fare pretty well with talking to just about anybody under any circumstances but this guy just gave me a hard time. He seemed like he was trying to dodge my questions the entire time. I hardly think of myself as having any sort of intimidating presence.

I don't think I was asking weird questions either. Initially I showed some surprise at seeing him on campus because I was under the impression he already graduated. When I asked him what he was doing around UCLA, he responded with "just dicking around." What the hell kind of an answer is that? Later on when I asked him what his plans were for the day, he gave the same answer. Maybe it's a code for playing with himself in private. I could actually care less at that point.

He never bothered to ask me how I was or what I was doing at UCLA, since I obviously wasn't there for undergrad. The only question he ever asked me was what I did for fun and if I watched anime. Any attempt I made at finding out how he was doing was futile. If you asked me right now what he's doing at UCLA, how he has been, etc., I would have absolutely no clue. My only conclusion is that he's probably embarrassed about something, since most people who are don't like to divulge their activities. Maybe he failed his classes and he couldn't graduate. So he has to stay and "dick around" some more. He left me now choice but to assume the worst. I honestly hope I don't run into him again.

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Subject:	gourmet of life
Time:	8:24 pm.
Music:	Amos Lee - Arms of Woman.

Having lived with a white roommate for over 2 quarters now, I noticed a major difference between our cooking styles. I am referring particularly to the amount of taste we put into our food in terms of spices, sauces, etc. My parents aren't big on heavy flavors so I've been accustomed to foods that some people might consider to be bland. My roommate, on the other hand, was actually the main cook for his family when he was in high school because his mom worked late and wasn't able to prepare dinner for the family. Another reason was that she was supposedly a terrible cook compared to him. This all sounds good until you try his dishes.
( Read more... )

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Subject:	another random observation about relationships
Time:	11:17 pm.
Music:	Paolo Nutini - Last Request.

Not long ago, I had the opportunity to spend time with my cousins at Las Vegas. I know I've written about the experience before but this is regarding something completely different from all the fun and games. It's amazing how much you can learn about someone just by spending a few days with them. My cousin got married a few months back and recently she announced that she was pregnant and is expecting sometime in August (she was especially giddy towards me because of the possibility that her baby might have the same birthday as me). It was joyous news for everyone in the family.

Fate had it that my cousin was down with the flu when we went to Vegas. I remember our first night very clearly. I had already settled into my sleeping bag while everyone else was still getting ready to sleep. My cousin's husband had his laptop out, grumbling about how he had business to finish up before the night ends. He runs a business that sells electronics and various other gadgets on eBay. My cousin was shifting around uncomfortably in bed because she was hungry; she didn't eat much for dinner that night. She asked her husband, "Baby, can you call room service for some hot water?" since she brought some instant noodles. Her husband responded in a slightly irritated tone, "The phone is right next to you baby, why don't you call?"

The first thought that came to my mind was, "Is that how you treat your wife?" There was some intermittent verbal jousting between them until my other cousin came out of the shower and called room service for her. I don't know him well but this incident certainly gave me a bad impression of him. The rest of the trip didn't help his case much either as I observed his flirtatious nature with my cousin's other girl friends. I suppose everyone reaches a certain age when you can't do anything to change their nature.

When my cousin delivered the good news at a family dinner, I noticed a lack of enthusiasm on her husband's part. Maybe he's just someone who isn't expressive about his feelings but a life-changing moment like this should certainly elicit some form of response. I am willing to give him the benefit of the doubt but his track record doesn't bode well. I honestly wish I am wrong about all of this, and that my cousin can enjoy a happy, fruitful, and successful marriage. Hopefully all of my observations were made on their off-days and were not representative of how their relationship fundamentally works.

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Subject:	it's that time of life
Time:	11:22 pm.
Music:	Jem - Falling For You.

Time is flying by me at the speed of light. I don't like the fact that I've gone through half of my year at UCLA. I absolutely hate the quarter system because I get the feeling that a lot of material is rushed due to the lack of sufficient time to cover everything. However, besides that, everything else has been quite an enriching experience. I am arriving at the point where I am searching for a suitable job, which is by no means an easy task. Part of my non-chalant attitude towards this matter is probably because my professor/advisor keeps telling us that geotechnical engineers are in high demand and there aren't enough students coming out with a masters. Supposedly I have a lot of bargaining power when it comes to my desired salary.

Recently I interviewed for the Los Angeles County Department of Public Works. The whole process took about an hour and fifteen minutes; it was a one on one interview with one of the practicing engineers who has been with the county for 20 years. The problem isn't that I did poorly on the interview; I think I pulled through that ordeal with more grace than I expected for myself. The main issue is that I am torn between working for the government or going into the private sector.

Throughout the years, I've talked with classmates, professors, and others who have work experience regarding the difference between working for the public or private sector. Apparently, there seems to be a consensus that you won't be able to learn as much in the public sector as opposed to working for a private firm. The argument is that the public sector is so large that it becomes impossible to seek reliable help within your division. This also goes along with a large private firm. A small firm is supposed to nurture you and help you grow as an engineer.

Working for LA County certainly has its benefits. I get a competitive starting salary, I get a lot of health and dental benefits, and I get more vacation time than if I worked for a private firm (plus I get government holidays off). The public sector doesn't work for a profit, whereas the livelihood of a private firm depends on the amount of revenue it's bringing in. This translates to a work environment that is supposed to be less stressful and you're not obligated to pull in a lot of overtime. There appears to be a lot of stability holding a government job. The biggest advantage I see is that their office is on Fremont, in Alhambra. As much as I enjoyed living on my own at Berkeley, I can't ignore the amount of money I'll be saving on rent and gas.

Honestly, I don't know where I am going to end up several years from now. All I know is that I will most likely be somewhere in California. I cherish the amount of friends and family I have in Los Angeles and I can't bear the thought of wandering too far. Hopefully things will be much more clearer a month or two from today.

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Subject:	a simple observation on relationships
Time:	12:42 am.
Music:	Shigeru Umebayashi - Polonaise.

One of the biggest mistakes I've seen people make is holding on to a relationship for the sake of holding on to the relationship. Granted that the hardest part of a splintered relationship is trying to wipe any remnants of the debacle from your mind, the bottom line remains the same: if it's unhealthy in the long run, get out while you're still young. I know several people who are more than capable of finding someone else who will be able to treat them better than their current significant others. Sadly, I believe the main reason holding them back from doing so is the fact that they've fought their way through countless bitter altercations and sleepless nights filled with worry. They want to believe that their efforts weren't futile, that the sweat and toil they've gone through will result in a fortuitous turnabout. They convince themselves time after time that whatever voids that exist in their relationship will later be magically filled, that personal flaws and personality hiccups will disappear.

The sad reality of it all is that most people are incapable of change. I think most of the people from my age span has passed that threshold. A negligent boyfriend or a flirty girlfriend may suppress that trait for a time being, but as soon as circumstances return to their status quo, those annoying and potentially damaging attributes will inevitably resurface. The explanation behind such behavior is simple: some people don't like dealing with problems until they have to. It's our nature to procrastinate, to put off a relationship time bomb till seconds before it's set to detonate. Then we find a quick fix (the true American way) to the problem that never addresses things at the very root of it all.

Critical mistakes and flaws within a relationship shouldn't be viewed as a sunk cost. Like a gambler who doubles up his bet in an attempt to recover his previous losses, many people believe the time they've invested in a rocky relationship is invaluable to the point where the only option they relegate themselves to is to invest even more time and energy to try to fix it. This is the judgement call everyone will eventually be forced to make, and unfortunately, most people are unable to choose correctly. Sure, we'd like to drag things on for the sake of being able to flaunt our 5 year 5 month anniversary, but the question people should be asking themselves is whether or not this trivial celebration is worth the possible anxieties to come. Is trumpeting the 3 or 4 year milestone of a tattered relationship more important than the possibility of celebrating a 6 month or 1 year anniversary in the future with someone who carries more potential?

Another reason behind this is the fact that people are simply afraid of change. Relationships have the tendency to form bubbles around us, creating a sanctuary for ourselves and our significant other. We see all the ugliness outside of the bubble and even if we find ourselves suffocating inside, we're still hellbent on trying to prevent anything from bursting it. Maintaining a healthy bubble obviously takes two, but when one decides to alter or burst it, there really is nothing you can do but adapt. If you find yourself on a sinking ship, better grab that life preserver before it becomes out of reach. It's certainly easier to float than having to tread water.

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Subject:	roulette me for 50
Time:	11:42 pm.
Music:	The Boy Least Likely To - Be Gentle With Me.

Last week, I spontaneously decided to embark on a journey with my cousins to pay our annual homage to the gambling capital of the nation. I think the main reason why I despise going there is because I always end up going with just my parents, who usually don't do anything else but mess around with the slot machines. This time I went with my cousin Mimi and her husband Derrick, and my other cousins Gigi and KK. We arrived around 10 pm after having a prime rib dinner at Whiskey Pete's, just in time for my cousin to reveal to me the wonders of playing roulette.

I don't consider myself a gambler, mainly because I can't stand losing money on something where the odds are obviously against me. I found myself sitting next to my cousin at the roulette table, gingerly placing $1 bets on different numbers laid out on the table. It was my first time playing roulette; before, I thought it was the dumbest game in the world because the odds are terrible: there are 38 different numbers and the ball only falls on one number after the wheel is spun. I learned that you can bet in a variety of ways. If you bet squarely on a single number, the payback is 1:35. You can also bet in between numbers, either 2, 4 or 6 at a time and the payback decreases as the bet covers more numbers. You can also bet on whether the ball will land on a red or black number, or whether it will be odd or even, or even bet on a whole range of numbers like from 1-12.

Right after we sat down, we were on fire. We laid the minimum $10 bet down for each round and managed to score a return on our first five bets. She let me play a few dollars of her $100 buy in. Then my cousin's friend enters the scene, someone whose physical appearance simply screams "plastic surgery" (I can never date a Korean girl). Her face appears to be honed to perfection, so perfect to the point where I find it eerily disturbing. Strangely enough, upon the arrival of the woman with ghastly pale, white, powder-like skin, our luck sank to abysmal depths. I lost $60 that night and my cousin lost her $100. I didn't think I was going to play roulette again.

After accompanying my cousin at the Pai Gow tables, we were inexplicably drawn back toward the roulette tables. I eyed a peculiar trend that developed at one particular table that was continuously hitting black numbers. I pulled out a $50 bill and placed it on the color black, which essentially means I was betting on a trend that could've reversed at any moment. Luckily, it didn't I was able to cut my total losses at Vegas by a large margin. Afterwards, I never touched roulette again.

This was the best Vegas trip I've ever experienced. I got to know my cousins better and had the opportunity to meet some of their friends as well. I wouldn't hesitate to go with them again.

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	questions & marriage
Time:	4:26 pm.
Music:	許慧欣 - 我要輕輕為你唱首歌.

Recently, a lot of my cousins have been getting married. Through conversation, I've begun to realize that most people our age view love and marriage from a strictly idealistic perspective and fail to recognize the practical aspects that greatly affect its outcome. The following set of questions came out of a nytimes article I read that lists some important questions that people should consider before getting married:

1) Have we discussed whether or not to have children, and if the answer is yes, who is going to be the primary care giver?

2) Do we have a clear idea of each other’s financial obligations and goals, and do our ideas about spending and saving mesh?

3) Have we discussed our expectations for how the household will be maintained, and are we in agreement on who will manage the chores?

4) Have we fully disclosed our health histories, both physical and mental?

5) Is my partner affectionate to the degree that I expect?

6) Can we comfortably and openly discuss our sexual needs, preferences and fears?

7) Will there be a television in the bedroom?

8) Do we truly listen to each other and fairly consider one another’s ideas and complaints?

9) Have we reached a clear understanding of each other’s spiritual beliefs and needs, and have we discussed when and how our children will be exposed to religious/moral education?

10) Do we like and respect each other’s friends?

11) Do we value and respect each other’s parents, and is either of us concerned about whether the parents will interfere with the relationship?

12) What does my family do that annoys you?

13) Are there some things that you and I are NOT prepared to give up in the marriage?

14) If one of us were to be offered a career opportunity in a location far from the other’s family, are we prepared to move?

15) Does each of us feel fully confident in the other’s commitment to the marriage and believe that the bond can survive whatever challenges we may face?

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Subject:	jesus would probably do the same thing
Time:	2:03 am.
Music:	Thievery Corporation - Illumination.

Recently, I began to realize that most of my friends are non-religious, which, by my definition, means they either don't consider religion to be an important factor in their lives or that religion has taken a back seat for them. All of this is judged relative to my own personal views on this matter. I just find it strange that with all the fervor about having constant fellowship with your brothers and sisters (a term commonly used by Christians to denote those who share their same beliefs), God would put my in a situation where most of my daily interactions are with those who don't fall into this category.

The reason behind this still eludes me. On the surface, it seems like I've never established any lasting social connections with other Christians. I get the feeling that I am only capable of clicking with them on a spiritual level; but when it comes to enjoying the things of this world, we're speaking different languages. Maybe it's just this particular group of people that I interact with. It appears to me that they reject many elements of this physical world as being spiritually unhealthy or distracting. Such things may include entertainment, music, politics, language, and even the concept of religion being a social construct. I don't mean to say that they abhor music in general; it's just that they seem to believe music should be served only to one purpose: to worship God. I remember someone expressing how they believed speaking different languages is a hinderance to spiritual unity within the community. The one thing that I do agree on is the view of Christianity as simply a religion. In reality, I think it's more of a way of life; the term religion seems to connotate rigid practices and conservative narrow-mindedness.

Having said this, I think I can easily find conflicts of interest. I can't imagine listening to only gospel music or hymns for the rest of my life. It's not that I don't enjoy singing hymns; I just think music is one of those things that is more enjoyable when you diversify your tastes. Language and culture is another issue. I would hate myself if I had to forsake my native tongue and culture; I'd do anything in the future to prevent myself from being in such a situation.

In many ways, I am thankful for being able to judge others outside of a religious context. If I were unable to do so, I wouldn't be able to enjoy the company of my wonderful friends today.

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Subject:	metal music = stupid
Time:	8:37 pm.
Music:	香奈 - 蛇苺.

In order to alleviate some of the boredom that can come along with too much studying, I've been spending most of my time browsing through profiles on last.fm. This site is amazing; I wish I had discovered it a few years back; that way I would be able to see how my taste in music has changed. Basically the program keeps track of every single song you play on your computer and compiles them into lists, showing which artists and tracks you listen to the most. By clicking through other people's charts and profiles, I was able to come into contact with a plethora of music genres that I've never encountered before.

However, I've discovered a newfound appreciation for bands like Interpol after I realized how good they sound when compared to garbage like black metal or death metal. This is, by far, the worst kind of music I've ever listened to in my entire life. If you'd like a taste of what I am referring to, try listening the samples from Gorgoroth and Lamb of God. The songs are completely devoid of any coherent elements of music like having a distinguishable melody or meter. The vocals are cacaphonous grunts harmonized with bestial growling. The instrumentals sound like a 3 year old randomly ripping on an electric guitar or beating senselessly on the drums. It's also interesting to note that people who listen to this kind of music don't listen to anything else. Just browse through some profiles and you'll be surprised at the amount of trash that is out there. Music has definitely hit rock bottom here; I don't know how worse it can get. I challenge anyone to find worse stuff than this.

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Subject:	online gambling ban
Time:	11:57 pm.
Music:	Diana Ross & The Supremes - Someday We'll Be Together.

One of my cousins used to work for a company that runs online gambling operations. Recently he told me he became unemployed because the House has passed The Unlawful Internet Gambling Enforcement Act of 2006 H.R. 4411, the first step towards stopping any form of online gambling. As of now, I believe the legislation is awaiting approval from the Senate and the White House has already expressed approval for it.

The irony of it all is that the bill only passed through the House because it was attached to the very end of the SAFE Ports Act, which is completely unrelated with online gambling. The bill was rushed so that congressmen wouldn't be able to see it. In other words, a lot of people were voting for segments of a bill that they never knew existed. It seems strange that the Republicans are making it their "moral imperative" to ban online gambling when they're doing nothing to stop other forms of legalized gambling. Imagine what would happen to Nevada if that happened, which ironically happens to be a solid red state.

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Subject:	revelation
Time:	12:23 am.
Music:	劉若英 - 很愛很愛你.

I still remember the first time I met her. The truth is that there was nothing special about it. I did not single her out amongst the myriad of girls there. I vaguely remember a pleasant chat that hovered at the superficial level. I knew her name, where she went to school, her major, and where she worked. That was it. For all practical purposes, I never expected to see her again after that.

The second time I saw her came as a surprise. I thought it was nice to have an extra friend to help me celebrate a special milestone in my life. Besides that, there was nothing special about it either. We had short, intermittent conversations about nothing. I found out a little more about her but it was of negligible significance. I did not feel any instant connection with her but I will honestly admit that I began to notice how cute she was. We will assume that the Berkeley goggles did not influence my observation. After they left for SF, everything more or less returned to status quo. I didn't expect to see much of her again.

Afterwards, I realized how terribly wrong I was in my assertions. Our circle of friends hung out on a regular basis, which meant I began to see her more frequently. Slowly, as I got to know her better as a friend, I found myself involved in a lot of activities that she was a part of. As various pieces of the puzzle fell into place, I began to find a lot of attractive qualities in her. Besides her tantalizing personality, she is someone who actually makes me want to become a better person, not on the superficial level but on a more fundamental level. She indirectly exposes my flaws, allowing me the chance to rectify things that I was previously oblivious to. I also find myself constantly learning new things from her.

I don't know when I began to realize all of this. However, when I take a step back to assess everything, I can't help but be overwhelmed by the beauty of it all. An important part of the equation is that I wasn't initially attracted to her; not the first time we met, and barely anything the second time. As time progresses and she becomes more beautiful to me through each passing day, there is only one solid conclusion that I can arrive at right now: even if the future holds nothing for us, I will remain grateful that people like her really do exist and that I will eventually be able to form a compromise between my ideal and my reality.

那幅畫面多美麗
如果我會哭泣也是因為歡喜
地球上兩個人能相遇不容易
做不成你的情人我仍感激

Comments: Add Your Own.

Subject:	time management
Time:	11:39 pm.
Music:	南拳媽媽 - 橘子汽水.

If I learned anything from four years at Berkeley, it would have to be that time management is the key to everything. I struggled the first couple of semesters because I was highly inefficient with my time. I took too many classes during my third semester so it ended up being extremely difficult to even keep up with my easier classes. I was lucky that I figured it out by the time I started taking upper division classes because that was when my grades actually counted; apparently graduate schools in civil engineering usually only consider your grades for major-related courses.

I suppose your mood would also have a direct effect on how effectively you use your time. A combination of a large homework load and multiple exams coupled with irrational emotional distress made for a rather unpleasant week. My first semester of taking upper division courses happened to coincide with the time when I was getting to know Nancy, so it was a relatively happy period for me.

It just seems to me like a lot of people struggle with time management at school. If you're a moderately content individual and you're not in EECS(haha) or some form of graduate study, and you find yourself flustered with a lack of time to complete your tasks, you're probably not managing your time very well. I used to find myself fobbing people off with excuses of being too busy to do certain things outside of my academic life; now I realize that I, like a lot of people, were just full of bullshit. It's our way of telling you we didn't want to make time for you because we have lost control of our time management.

你就像天上的雲朵　我好想變成彩虹

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